It's Time to Call Yourself a Writer

Writers, have you ever had an identity crisis?

I had a long professional identity crisis in my thirties and forties. After practicing law for a brief period, then caring for young children, the wandering and searching for the "thing I was meant to do" ensued.

For years, I felt frozen—and shame—every time someone asked me "What do you do?"

You know that question everyone inevitably asks when they first meet you.

I stammered and made apologies when I didn't have a simple—or satisfactory-to-me—answer, and pretty much wanted to dig a hole and bury myself in it in those moments.

During those years of wandering, I often forgot my gifts and what I loved to do.

I forgot that I had been a teenager who published my first article when I was a high school senior, a personal essay in my local newspaper about a study abroad experience in England. 

My father, back in New York with the rest of my family, had mailed me a copy of the newspaper clipping with this note:

"Everyone’s asking me if you're going to be a writer. Have you considered this?"

Thirty-four years later, when I was an empty nester in my fifties, I finally said to myself—and the world—"I'm a writer."

I’m not sure why it took me so long, but maybe it had something to do with a lifelong pattern of making safe choices.

It's not a coincidence that my memoir THE ONLY WAY THROUGH IS OUT, forthcoming February 2024 from the University of Wisconsin Press, was originally titled GRAVEYARD OF SAFE CHOICES. 😉

Claiming my identity as a writer was—and is—vulnerable.  

It was so much safer & easier to talk about writing and think about writing than it was to putt my butt in the chair & become visible.

But I'm guessing that you, like me, ARE a writer—not a wannabe writer.

Here's how to tell the difference between being a writer vs. a wannabe:

Wannabe writers talk a lot about writing.

✍🏻 Writers put their butts in the chair and write.

Wannabe writers write when the spirit strikes them (hint: it doesn’t strike very often).

✍🏻 Writers put writing dates on their calendars & show up whether they feel like it or not. 

Wannabe writers think they can do it alone.

✍🏻 Writers know that writing for publication requires support & community.

Wannabe writers avoid sharing their work with others.

✍🏻 Writers know how to seek out meaningful & constructive feedback.

Wannabe writers are scared to be vulnerable.

✍🏻 Writers are scared to be vulnerable—and they show up on the page anyway.

Wannabe writers believe that writing is easy.

✍🏻 Writers know writing is hard—and they write anyway.

Inside WRITE YOURSELF OUT, we help transform LGBTQ+ folx from wannabe writers to writers by providing coaching, support, accountability, and community.

You are a writer who has a story the world needs to hear.

Please never forget that your story matters.

I'm about to take a group of LGBTQ+ writers on their Queero's Journey. Curious? Click here to learn more.


Just fill out the details below and you'll be good to go. Please note, your information is safe with me, and welcome!