Your Story Matters

My yoga studio has a Century Club—you earn a prize once you reach 100 classes a year. One year, pre-pandemic, I practiced over 200 times! That meant showing up on my mat 5 x a week on average.

This fall, I barely showed up at all.

In October I practiced yoga ONCE.

Life got in the way.

I was:

• Knee deep in revising GRAVEYARD OF SAFE CHOICES, my coming-out-later-in-life memoir.
• Preoccupied with my elderly mother’s health crisis.
• Traveling.
• Drinking too much bourbon, which impacted my sleep.

I’d sign up for classes and cancel at the last minute.

It got to the point that I was embarrassed to go to the studio because I hadn’t been there for so long.

I stopped thinking of myself as a yogi. I stopped even signing up for classes because what a joke! I knew I would cancel.

One day I said to myself, you are getting on your mat no matter what. You don’t have to practice 5-6x a week. You just have to practice today.

I showed up to class. It was hard, but I felt...

In my early forties, I began noticing an almost supernatural glow on the faces of certain friends when they talked about a new project or work they felt passionate about. Work where their gifts and the needs of the world were aligned.

Truth be told, I envied them—I wanted to glow too.

I had left a toxic work environment as a corporate lawyer in my late twenties, and between birthing and raising two sons I'd been searching for the right fit career path.

After my kids left for college, I finally found that path.

I put a stake in the ground and claimed my call as a writer. I set aside time to write. Went to writers conferences. Joined a writing group. Hired a book coach—and later trained to become one myself.

I finished one manuscript and started another.

And in the process, my life changed, in more ways than one.

Nearly a decade after saying "I am a writer"—something I had known my whole life but had been afraid to say out loud—I...

My friend Byron is a Southern gentleman with a wicked sense of humor and an equally wicked sense of style.

Like he would wear a made-to-order seersucker tuxedo to a black tie wedding.

And in that very dapper seersucker tuxedo, Byron asked me about my book.

Sidebar: If you're writing a book and you let people know about it, be prepared for questions.

ALL.

THE.

TIME.

What's happening with your book?

When's it coming out?

Where can I buy it?

But Byron isn't just a good friend; he's also a board member of a nonprofit independent press that focuses on Southern authors and stories. He knows a thing or two about publishing.

After I told him that I was "this close"—I was holding my thumb and forefinger a half inch apart—to being offered a publishing contract by a university press, he asked me how many copies I expected the press to print in their first run.

A question I frankly hadn't even thought about. A question I now know to research and ask about when I...

My heart nearly stopped when I read the subject line of the email:

Readers Reports: Graveyard of Safe Choices

The email from the university press I'd been waiting for all summer was finally here.

Catch up on the previous steps in my publication journey here.

I scanned the email:

Happy news.

Both readers recommend publication.

I put my head in my hands and started to cry. 

After 4+ years and I don't know how many drafts, it looks like my memoir has found a home.

It's not a done deal yet—there's still a couple of approvals left to go and one more semi-substantial revision to address the very helpful comments from the peer reviewers—but I think this thing is going to happen.

I'll shout it from the rooftops once I have a publication date—but I'm not going to wait to celebrate.

This is a big f**ing milestone!

Because there were days—many days—that I wanted to give up.

When I thought no one would care about my story.

When It felt too hard to revisit...

Hi Suzette, the email began from an editor I had pitched two months earlier.

I am so sorry for the delay in responding to you! But I love your essay and I’d be happy to publish this on TODAY.com.

Have you already placed it elsewhere? Please let me know if it’s still available.

"Holy shit!" I screamed at my sister from the passenger seat of the car.

A few days later, "The Subaru Should Have Been a Sign," was published.

The editor emailed two days later to say that my essay had been one of their top performing pieces all week, with over 250,000 views. 

I won't deny it: the 15 minutes of fame have been a blast.

Subaru has reached out—as has a reality TV producer! Don't worry, I'm not planning to be the next Real Housewife, although the new face of Subaru might not be a bad gig.

But more important than the 15 minutes of fame is that I've taken my writing to a new level. I'm more confident. I'm less afraid of putting...

Have you ever been brought to your knees by 300-400 words?

Truth be told, I have. 

Ahh ... the dreaded query letter. A three-paragraph email sent to an agent or editor with a single purpose: to entice them to read your book proposal or manuscript.

The first time I queried agents for Graveyard of Safe Choices, my memoir about reclaiming myself at midlife, was in the winter of 2021. I had set a deadline for myself to have queries sent before I turned 60.

I met my deadline. Hooray!

But my queries were met with form rejections or silence. A sign that the query was NOT working—no one, apparently, wanted to read more.

I went back to revise the query—and ultimately the manuscript.

You see, an unsuccessful query isn't always just about the query: often it reveals problems with the manuscript.

When your query is fuzzy and vague, it can indicate that you really don't know what your book is about.

And...

The road to publication can be long, as I've shared in a recent post. 

It also can be filled with rejection and never-to-be-answered queries.

And then there are those moments like my client Sarah had the other day. I won't tell you too much about her book—yet—as there are more steps on its path to publication.

But an OMG!!! email is a time to celebrate.

As soon as I read Sarah's "OMG! Can you call me?" email, I picked up the phone and seconds later I was on the verge of (happy) tears.

A dream agent had offered her representation.

He GOT her book. WHY it was important for women. Why it was important NOW.

And the book proposal that got this agent's attention?

"It's one of the best I've ever read," the agent told Sarah.

I can't lie—that comment was the icing on the cake.

My clients and I work hard—often for many months—on these proposals—which are documents that make the business case for their book. 

What their...

When I connect with a friend I haven't seen in a while or a new acquaintance who knows I've written a memoir, inevitably I will be asked a variation on one of these questions:

What's happening with your book?

When can I buy your book?

When's your book coming out?

Most people can't imagine why it's TAKING ME SO DAMN LONG TO WRITE AND PUBLISH MY BOOK!

Truth be told, when I started this memoir journey 4+ years ago, I had no idea it would take this long either!

A few months ago, I blogged about my memoir journey: 

• 2018 - 2019: 1st draft
• 2019: Revision and beta readers
• Early 2020: Thought I was ready to query. A book coach told me I wasn’t. “You don’t know what your book is about yet.” Ouch. I took a break. Thought about writing another book. Ate a lot of sourdough bread and drank a lot of wine.
• Summer 2020: The memoir wouldn’t leave me alone. I tackled another revision.
• Winter 2021: Drafted a proposal and query letter. Surely my...

Great news for authors! People are still reading books!

Here’s the big picture based on data from 2019:

• Printed books continue to dominate the industry
• Audiobooks are the fastest-growing product in the publishing industry.
• Self-publishing remains hugely popular.

What GENERATION reads the most books? 

The answer may surprise you. It's MILLENNIALS, those born between 1981-1996,  followed closely by baby boomers.

As the parent of two millennials, this surprised me! All the handwringing my peers and I did, worried that “technology” would be the end of reading.

WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT GENERATIONS READING?

Gen Z: humor, Millennials: health and wellness books, Gen X: crafts and hobbies, Baby Boomers: cookbooks, and the Silent Generation: biographies and memoirs.

WHAT DO YOU READ?

If you are someone who is thinking about writing a book, may I state the obvious? You need to be reading in the genre that you are planning to write in. If you’re...